It goes without saying that we go through our lives brushing past people we will never know. For one, there are too many people in this world and not enough time to listen to their story. There’s never enough time to spend with the ones we love, let alone the ones we see randomly at stores or in our towns.
But even within our small group of friends, it’s often difficult to know someone completely. We can be friends with someone our whole lives and never truly understand them. They may have motives that are far outside our own line of thinking. They may have problems that we never see. I admit, I often hide inside a shell that only a few have cracked.
So it’s always refreshing when we get a glimpse of people as they truly are. It’s sometimes a rare occurrence. When you have a chance to meet with the people you see everyday outside of the office, or doing something that you don’t normally do, take it. You will find yourself meeting people for the first time, and most likely loving their true selves more than you ever did before.
I’ve met so many people in my life, and it’s the small conversations you have with them that give you insight into who they are. Let them into your world, just a bit, and they will open up and let you into theirs.
You will see that you aren’t the only crazy person in this world. Other people have weird stories. You might find some that share your story. It’s the sharing that I want to talk about.
Everyday we get up, go to work, come home, get kids to school. But what do we share? How do we share what we are going through to others? Do we even want to share ourselves with the people we see everyday?
You ultimately have the choice of who you share your story with. When you do share it, do it openly. Share yourself so that others will feel like sharing back. Share your heartaches, your traumas, your phobias. If you can find some common thread between you, a whole world will open up for you and the people you thought you knew.
And then something happens. You start to understand how the whole world works. You see the tiny ways in which everyone is connected. You start to understand that all families have problems, not just yours. We are all flawed, and broken, and in need of someone to understand us. And it’s okay to be this way. We’re all just here to enjoy life, but sometimes we need to remember to breathe, and take it all in, before it’s gone.
If someone takes the time to tell you about who they are, stop and listen. Share something in return. Tell them about something that makes you laugh. Or something that makes you cry. But share something. People aren’t so scary when you realize they’re as human as ourselves.
Sharing yourself with others can still be scary. But it’s very rewarding, when you get to connect to someone and see who they truly are.
Because when you see someone for who they truly are, there is beauty there. The layers they have gathered around them fall away, and the soul they have hidden shines so brightly beneath it all.
It’s not going to be easy, finding this hidden beauty within the ones we share our lives with. And sometimes you never find it. Even within families, you can go years without fully seeing the people who helped form you into a person.
My advice in this situation is this: Step back. Take a deep breath. Then really look at the people in your life, and see where they may be struggling. See the things they say, what they do. Don’t judge, don’t make excuses. Ask them the right questions and they will reveal their story.
It’s important to ask the right questions, and often, it’s the questions we don’t want to ask. But we need to. Otherwise, we will never fully see the whole story.