Have you ever noticed how married couples bicker a lot? I’m not talking about big fights or anything, but just bickering back and forth, all the time, no matter where they are or who they’re with. It’s like once you’re married, you have the right to verbally make fun of and taunt your other half.At first, I thought this was only something in my own family. I’ve seen it with my parents as I grew up, and they still bicker with each other, over the silliest of things. And it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. Sometimes it’s even pretty funny to witness. My grandparents probably take the cake at bickering. They’ve been doing it for about 20 years now, if not longer. Every time I see them together, they’re constantly going off about one thing or another. If they didn’t do it, I think I’d wonder what was up.

Lately, I’ve noticed that other married couples we know also do the exact same thing. One comment sparks something in the other, and then it’s a verbal match against one another to see who has control over the situation or problem being discussed. We’re always trying to prove that our way is the best way, or that one person’s idea was not a good one. Or that you shouldn’t have done this, cause it’s driving you slowly bonkers.

It’s a strange thing. I admit I also bicker with my husband. And I don’t know why. Sometimes I think I just want to pick a fight, or argue about something really stupid, just to talk. You rarely see non-married couples bickering a lot, unless they’ve been together for a while and then it’s acceptable. Even warranted at times.

Over time, I think we all just get fed up with things, and feel the need to belittle anyone that stands in our way of getting things done. No matter how long we may try, we can’t change people or their habits. Not unless they really want to change. And I can tell you from experience it’s extremely difficult to make someone see that their ways are not the best ones enough to change to yours.

I also ponder whether bickering is more for other people’s benefit or enjoyment, as it’s mostly done in the presence of others. There’s more of a need to bicker about your spouse with other people who also know them and can give you back up as you bicker.

But what causes all this to begin with? Is it that we spend way too much time with our spouses? Do we appreciate them less over time because we know them too well? Or do we just want them to do things the way we do them, and when they don’t we feel obligated to let them know?

I really don’t have any answers. I’d love to find one married couple that never bickers, never argues. I don’t believe people like this exist. Because they’d be too happy, and content. It would throw off the whole balance of nature. People who live together over a long period of time are bound to get on each other’s nerves now and then.